Stange Love
by SnakeCharmer13
Summary: What happens when a hot teacher comes to degrassi, and Ashley is feeling vulnerable..it's actually really good..i kid you not
1. Default Chapter

I do not own any part of Degrassi. The only thing I own is the plot and any made up characters.

I also don't this song. It's Secret , by Maroon 5, and it's the shit.

A/N: So, I was thinking, what's fun to write about? L-o-v-e! (Awww!) And what's better than..Taboo love? Yeah. Not much. Here we go!

A/N2 This is set sometime after Ashley finds out about Manny and Craig

_Watch the sunrise_

_Say your goodbyes_

_Off we go_

_Some conversation_

_No contemplation _

_Hit the road_

Ashley Kerwin slid into her seat in English, too distracted by the thoughts running a mile a minute in her mind to pay attention to anything that was going on around her.

**Craig and Manny. Manny and Craig. I can't..this doesn't..I can't even form coherent sentences! How long had this been going on! Why didn't I know, or feel something was wrong? I can't believe I was this stupid**.

Ashley shot up in her seat, ready to ask Mrs. Kwan for a pass to the bathroom, or the nurse or _anywhere_, when she realized Mrs. Kwan wasn't there. In her place a tall, dark and very attractive young substitute teacher was standing there. He was looking around at the mayhem surrounding him, high school kids taking advantage of having a sub.

"_Car overheats_

_Jump out of my seat_

_On the side of the highway, baby_

_Our rope is long _

_Your hold is strong_

_Please don't ever let go_

_Oh no "_

The teacher cleared his throat. Nothing. A few of the kids in the front turned around, then whipped right back when they saw that Mrs. Kwan wasn't standing there. He sighed, then picked up an English text book from a students desk, and dropped it on the floor. The class jumped collectively, then quieted down. He handed the bewildered student back her textbook.

"Ok. So now that I've got your attention, let's get down to business. I'm Mr. Senate, and I'll be your sub for a couple of weeks while Mrs. Kwan is out, dealing with her husbands cancer. Alright?" He looked around at the students surrounding him, most of them looking bored and tired. All but one. She was sitting up straight, and gazing at him intensely. She looked like someone who lived, ate and slept creative writing. He smiled at her. This was why he taught. To see a persons face light up as they entered their favorite class, or to read a beautiful piece of writing. It was all worth it.

"_I know I don't know you_

_But I want you_

_So bad_

_Everyone has a secret love _

_Can they keep it?_

_Oh no they can't"_

After Mr. Senate smiled at her, Ashley felt herself blushing. What was wrong with her? He was a teacher, and not to mention at least 10 years older than her. Still, the way he smiled at her made chill run up her back. She realized he was talking, probably about the assignment so she decided to pay attention.

"..So this assignment isn't really..well.." Mr. Senate faltered, then smiled a devilish grin, the smile lighting up his face. "This isn't the assignment Mrs. Kwan left for you guys. But..I think it'll be more interesting than," Here he paused, leaning over to read the post-it stuck to a stack of packets, "Than doing Grammar Corrections"

The class nodded in agreement.

"Alright. I want you guys to do a writing exercise called 'I remember' I won't put a limit on it, it can be as long or short as you want it to be. Just say those words to yourself over and over. 'I remember' then write what you remember."

Ashley got to work, repeating the phrase over and over, but it was hard to concentrate with Mr. Senate walking by her desk so often.

"_I'm driving fast now"_

She glanced up from her work, only to find Mr. Senate looking down at her, smiling.

"Hey, I never got around to taking attendance" he whispered, crouching down next to her desk.

"Can you give me your name?"

"Ashley Kerwin" She whispered back, looking into his blue green eyes, and for a moment forgetting where she was.

"_Don't think I know how to go slow"_

He stood up. "Thanks. You can go back to work"

"_Oh where you at now"_

She attempted, again to buckle down, pushing all thoughts of Mr. Senate out of her head. And she succeeded. But, instead, thoughts of Craig and Manny came back.

"_I feel around, there you are"_

So she went with that, writing furiously, until Mr. Senate called for them to stop

"_Cool these engines _

_Calm these jets_

_I ask you how hot can it get_

_And as you wipe off beads of sweat_

_slowly you say _

_I'm not there yet"_

"Would anyone like to volunteer what they wrote? This will not be a critique, just a chance to practice reading your writing to people." He looked around the room, watching as students shrunk away from his glance. All but one.

"Ashley, would you like to read for us?

She looked up, completely surprised, but willing. She loved to read her writing aloud, even if it was about something as personal as her break-up with Craig. Ashley stood up and cleared her throat.

"I remember you telling me you'd never leave me. I remember being happy in your arms. I remember how the sight of you made a shiver run up my back. But I remember the bad too, how sometimes people would look away when I mentioned you, and our plans for the weekend. I remember the feeling of not knowing everything and the feeling of suspicion. I remember realizing I wasn't your whole world. I remember trying to be ok with it."

The class was quiet for a while, because all of them knew what it was about.

Mr. Senate nodded at Ashley. "Thank's for being so brave Ash. Anybody else willing to go?" But the bell rang, and everyone sprang up, gathering their things and getting out of there, on their way to lunch.

As Ashley was gathering her things, Mr. Senate stopped by her desk. "Ash, I really meant it when I thanked you for being brave. Not many girls would write about such a personal subject and volunteer to read it." He put a hand on her shoulder. "If you ever need to talk about anything...I'm here for a while" He let the sentence hang in the air between them, and Ashley gulped. "Um..Ok. Thank you. I'm late for lunch so.."

He nodded. "Have a good day Ashley"

"_I know I don't know you_

_But I want you _

_So bad_

_Everyone has a secret love_

_Can they keep it?_

_Oh not they can't"_


	2. Maps

A/N : After my 2 whole reviews (one by me..I know..sad) I decided to review. Because I'm cool.

Disclaimer: Still don't own Degrassi. Or the song "Maps" by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Ashley couldn't get him out of her mind. She practically ran down the hall after their "chat" to lunch. She walked down the halls, looking out for him and hoping to run into him. During the rest of her classes she couldn't concentrate, and was incessantly tapping her foot, waiting for the bell to ring.

When it finally did, she ran outside as fast as she could, ready to go home and think abut the weirdness that was her day.

"Ash! Hey Ash!" She turned around and saw her best friend, Ellie Nash walking toward her.

She smiled. "Hey Ellie, what's up?"

Ellie looked at her strangely.

"What Ell? What's wrong?" Ashley was confused.

"No, it's nothing, just when I see my best friend running out of the school like she's gonna catch the plague, when we had plans to hang at The Dot.." Ellie trailed off, looking at Ashley and grinned. "What's up with you?"

Ashley relaxed and started walking, with Ellie next to her. "Nothing"

Ellie looked at her disbelievingly. "Yeah right. It's not Manny and Craig, is it?"

Ashley smiled and shook her head. "No Ell, for once it's not about them"

"Then what is it!" Ellie whined. "I want to know. I have the right to know. I'm your best friend. Tell, tell."

Ashley sighed. Giving in to Ellie was so much easier than listening to her whine. "Alright. You know that um...sub that's in for Kwan?"

Ellie nodded skeptically. "Yeah...Paige was all over him in English today"

_Pack up_

"She was?"

"Yeah, she did that whole, 'Oops! I dropped a pencil in front of your desk! Let me get it!'" Ellie imitated in a high pitched girly voice.

_I've strayed _

"Really?" Ashley felt a little panicked. **It's not like Paige could ever have him! **She thought. **But wait..why am I so sure I can?**

_Enough _

"Yeah. So him..um...I think he's..well...hot" She finished lamely.

_Oh say say say _

Ellie laughed. "That's it? You're freaking out because you think a sub is hot? It happens to all of us!"

Ashley felt a bit more relaxed. She chuckled weakly. "That's it. I guess I was making it a bigger deal than it was."

Ashley told herself this after she said it to Ellie. The thing was, she had lied. It was a big deal. She just didn't know how to handle it.

They got to The Dot and saw Jimmy, Spinner, Paige, and Marco, hanging out, eating fries and joking around.

"Ash! Ellie!" Marco called. "Over here!"

Ellie rolled her eyes at Ashley as they wove their way around the tables. Ellie wasn't on good terms with all of the popular people, but Marco was one of her best friends and she wasn't about to ignore him.

"Ok, so Paige," Jimmy asked. "A little birdie told me you've been checking out Kwan's sub." He grinned devilishly.

Spin looked a little confused. Then mad. "Paige...you're hitting on another guy?"

"No sweetums. Don't you look at girls and think they're hot?"

Spin nodded slowly, still looking a little hurt.

"Well it's the same with this sub guy. But you're the only one for me." she smiled sweetly and kissed him.

_Made off_

_Don't stray_

_My kind's you're kind _

_Oh say say say_

_Oh say say say_

Ashley felt pissed. Why was Paige messing around with this sub guy, if she had Spinner, the perfect boy-toy? She wanted to go home, very badly and think about this. She stood up abruptly causing everyone to jump back a little.

"Ash?" Ellie asked her eyes wide. She was worried about Ash, she had been acting so erratic lately, and after the horrible ending with Craig..she just wasn't sure.

"I'm going. I'll see you guys later. Bye" Ashley said shortly, and left.

**What the hell is wrong with me? **Ashley thought frantically. **I freak out because Paige mentions some guy is hot..why is that a problem? Paige is constantly checking out guys even though she has the seemingly perfect boyfriend. So why did it feel like she's...stealing my guy?**

_Wait. They don't love you like I love you_

_Wait. They don't love you like I love you_

_Ma-a--a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ps _

_Wait. _

_They don't love you like I love you_

A/N That's right I updated with out you guys reviewing SO MUCH! (Hey that was dripping with sarcasm..so review!)

Fairysk8r: this is for you!!!!


	3. Shiver

Alllllllrighty. Whatever. Fairysk8r is the only one who cares (sinff sinff) soo..here I go

Another goddamn Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi. Or the song Shiver by Maroon 5.

I do own Mr. Senate though...and he's hot ;)

Back at home, Ashley was pacing furiously through her room. **This. Is. Not. Normal. You do not have these kind of feelings for a teacher! It's not right. Nor do you flip out when someone mentions that it's attractive. Wait, he's not an it. He is a person..an attractive person..but..he's not your attractive person. **

Ashley sighed and looked at the clock. The green numbers read 1:01. She shook her head at herself and jumped into bed. She couldn't let this situation get the best of her. Sleep was all she needed, she decided, closing her eyes contentedly. After a few minutes of listless rustling, Ashley fell asleep.

She made it through most of the next day without freaking out about Mr. Senate. That is of course, until English.

"So," Mr. Senate said, sitting easily on the desk, his long legs draping over the sides. "Let's not do anything today."

Spinner stood up and cheered.

Mr. Senate smiled. "Maybe I should clarify. We're going to discuss-" He was interrupted by a groan from everyone in the class. "Anything you guys feel passionate about. Let's just chat."

The class murmured to each other semi confused, but mostly excited. The class drifted off into a chat about whatever came to mind, music, movies, anything at all. Ashley didn't feel like contributing, so she just watched. Mostly, she just watched Mr. Senate. There was something so beautiful about how he moved, almost like it was poetry. He was at the minute, joking around with Spinner, laughing as his blue green eyes shone.

"..Yeah well, I'm not sure Spinner, maybe the dating scene isn't for me," She heard him say, chuckling.

Ashley did a double take. This gorgeous, smart, funny man wasn't involved with anyone? What? She decided that this conversation was one she wanted to hear.

"Come on Mr. S, you're like a total studly man right? Give it up" Spinner said, grinning.

_You build me up_

_You knock me down_

_Provoke a smile, _

_And make me frown_

_You are the queen_

_You run around _

_You know it's true_

"I don't know Spinner, it's just most of the people I meet.. I just don't connect with. Maybe I just haven't found the right person," He admitted, running a hand through his hair. Ashley had a feeling he was going to look up, right at her, but she couldn't stop. It felt like sacrilege to stop.

Just then, He did look up, right into her eyes, blue green vs. hazel.He won though because Ashley looked down blushing.

_You chew me up _

_And spit me out_

_Enjoy the taste _

_I leave in your mouth_

_You look at me_

_I look at you_

_Neither of us know what to do_

The bell rang then and Ashley hastily grabbed her things and shoved them in her bag, determined not to be the last one out of the room. She wasn't, but the sight she saw in the hallway was enough to make her heart stop. Manny waltzed over to Craig, and he swept her up in his arms and kissed her, right there in front of everyone.

People were pushing behind her and she realized that she was holding everyone up. She stepped back into the classroom, and clapped her hand over her mouth, gasping as the sob wracked her body.

"Alright guys, have a good weekend, don't go too crazy ok?" Mr. Senate called, closing the door as the last of the kids left his classroom. Then he turned around and saw Ashley.

"Ash..Ashley, what's wrong?"

She shook her head and sobbed even more, feeling so pathetic and embarrassed that Mr. Senate had found her like this.

"Do you want me to get Mrs. Soviet?" he asked, reaching out and rubbing her arm gently.

Through the fog in her mind Ashley was able to form one coherent thought.

**Oh. My. God. He touched me.**

_There may not_

_Be another way to your heart_

_So I guess I better find a new way in_

_And I shiver when I hear your name_

_Think about you but it's not the same_

_I won't be satisfied till I'm under your skin_

"Ok, do you want to sit down?" He questioned, motioning toward the nearest desk.

Ashley responded by sliding down the wall, directly under the window and crying into her knees. Mr. Senate sat right down next to her, and put a strong arm around her shoulders, as she cried inconsolably. He didn't say anything, just let her cry, until she had calmed down some.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked softly.

Ashley sniffled and realized how close they were. She could see now that his eyes were not only blue-green but they had flecks of gold in them, and that he smelled amazingly good, like clean man.

"I..uh..broke up my boyfriend of a few months right before Christmas break," she began, hating how superficial the words sounded. "I found out he was cheating on me"

"That's not good,"Mr. Senate said, urging her to continue.

"Um. No. And when I was leaving before.. I saw him...making out with the girl he left me for" She said, shakily, as tears rolled down her cheeks.

_Immobilized by the thought of you _

_Paralyzed by the sight of you_

_Hypnotized by the words you say_

_Not true but I believe them anyway_

"Shh..You're Ok Ash. It's ok now" He murmured pulling her into his chest and letting her cry as he hugged her.

Ashley was crying on the outside but on the inside she was freaking out. **Oh my god. This is so wrong. Teachers and students do not cuddle on the floor together. It's not right. It should not be happening. I should end this. **

But she found couldn't lulled in to a state of comfort by the smell of his cologne and the feel of his strong chest. Finally she pulled away.

"I should go now." She whispered, gathering her things.

He watched her carefully, trying to read her body language. "You know, if you ever need to talk, I'm here. Alright?"

She nodded and looked at him, still amazed by how close they were.

_So come to bed_

Somehow, despite how close they were, he leaned closer.

_It's getting late_

She found herself doing the same wondering where this was going but somehow knowing all along.

_Remember how my body tastes_

Ashley felt a powerful jolt as their lips met. She never remembered feeling like this with Craig, or Jimmy, or anyone.

_You feel your heart begin to race_

He knew how wrong this was, but he didn't care. This girl, this kid really, was so alone and sad. But she was so beautiful, and he found himself compelled to help her. He wanted to discover her, find out all about her, be there for her. But he couldn't say anything, so he just kept kissing her.

_There may not_

_Be another way to your heart_

_So I guess I better find a new way in_

_And I shiver when I hear your name_

_Think about you but it's not the same_

_I won't be satisfied till I'm under your skin_

A/N: Whew! That took a lot out of me! And the thing is it won't take that much out of you to review......

Fairysk8r: Approve?


	4. Delicate

HOLY CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SOMEONE ELSE REVIEWED! (Fairysk8r, I still 3 your reviews) BUT IM SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!

Breann, you read my mind. That's all I'm saying.

See all it takes to make me happy people? A little button, and some typing. You can handle that right?

Still don't own Degrassi, or Delicate by Damien Rice

There they lay, tangled on the floor of his classroom, with the door thankfully locked. They were directly underneath the windows, and so they were perfectly hidden from everyone. She was laying with her head on his chest, and he was looking at the ceiling, one hand wrapped around her waist, the other playing idly with her hair. She was wondering what the hell this meant, and he was just laying there, content with life.

**God dammit. What the hell is wrong with me? Do I have to keep wanting these men who are virtually unattainable to me? Craig just wanted a piece of ass, which I wouldn't give, and look where that got me. What is this gonna do to me? **

Ashley say up, careful to stay underneath the window. Her hair was mussed from his caress and her lips were red from kissing. "Mr. Senate.." She began hesitantly.

"Please," he said, the corners of his mouth turning up in a smile, "Call me Mark"

She smiled slightly, self consciously tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear. "Mark. What do..where is this..what..how.."

He smiled and pulled her back down on top of him. "I know,"he murmured. "What does this mean?"

She smiled up at him from her position on his chest. "Exactly"

"Well, I want you to know that I don't ever make it a habit to do this" He began, sounding a bit sheepish.

_We might kiss_

_When we are alone_

"Of seducing students?" Ashley asked, cocking her eyebrow questioningly.

"Yes. I mean no. I mean, I don't-haven't- ever done this. Ever"

"Does this mean I'm special?" She grinned, laughing at herself for being so flirtatious.

Mark turned to her, his eyes thoughtful. "Ash, I'm serious. I can't remember the last time I felt like this. I barley know you, but I feel connected to you somehow."

_When nobody's watching_

_We might take it home_

Ashley gulped, not expecting such a serious response. She imagined her would be all cocky about it, bragging that he'd almost bagged a minor. Looking him straight in the eyes, she responded exactly how she felt. "I really like you to Mr- Mark."

_We might make out _

_When nobody's there _

_It's not that we're scared, _

_It's just that it's delicate_

"Well, then, how do we go about this?" Mark asked, looking at the ceiling again. "I mean, people will ask questions, and I'll certainly be fired. I could even go to jail" He looked hopeful for a second. "You wouldn't happen to be 18 and in the 10th grade, would you?"

Ashley laughed and shook her head. "No, I'm 16," she said, quietly, somewhat ashamed.

Mark smiled. "Well, I'm only 22, so it's only a 6 year age difference."

Ashley was glad to hear he wasn't that much older. "How are you 22 and a teacher?" She asked.

"I'm only a sub. I just got my bachelors degree, and I'm still going to school for my masters."

She nodded. "Oh"

Mark reached down and traced her jaw line with the tip of his finger. "You stray from my point, beautiful. How are we going to make this work?"

_So why'd you fill _

_My sorrow_

_With the words you borrowed?_

_From the only place _

_You've known_

"I don't know. My parents are working most nights.....I guess you could come over....we could eat at my house...or whatever" Ashley said, blushing furiously, realizing a bit to late that she had just invited him to her house.

_And why'd you sing_

_Hallelujah _

_If it means nothing to you?_

_Why'd you sing with me at all?_

Mark smiled at her, his tantalizing white teeth sparkling. "I'd like that"

_We might live_

_Like never before_

_With nothing to give_

_Well how can you ask for more?_

She smiled back, and he reached for her, pulling her up to meet his awaiting kiss.

**Wow. I could really get used to this. Someone who likes me for me, and who is mature, and funny, and gorgeous. Not to mention he's one of the best kissers I've ever meet.**

_We might make love_

_In some sacred place_

_The look on your face_

_Is delicate_

Mark ran his tongue over her bottom lip, wanting her desperately to open up. She obliged, greeting his tongue with her own, running it back and forth over his lips, sucking ever so gently. He rolled over, and she fell down on top of him, kissing him harder and more passionately then she had ever kissed anyone before. Mark could feel himself getting swept up in the urgency of her kiss and the feeling of her tongue on his. "Ashley" He panted haggardly, surprised that a simple kiss could make him feel this way.

"Hmm?" She mumbled, making her way down his neck.

Mark closed his eyes as he took in the sensation of her sucking on the tender skin on his neck. Finally, recovering his senses, he pulled her away.

"Ashley, I want nothing more than to be with you, totally and completely. But we don't know each other that well, and I don't want to rush you. I can wait."

She smiled and collapsed into his chest for the 3rd time that day, wanting to stay there forever.

_So why'd you fill_

_My sorrow_

_With the words _

_You borrowed_

_Why'd you sing to me _

_At all?_

_And why'd you sing_

_Hallelujah_

_If it means nothing _

_To you_

_Why'd you sing with me at all?_

Wow, soon it's going to get mighty hot in here. Yeah that's right, hotter than this. You know what would be hotter than my writings? A review.


	5. Carry You Around

And now I'm back...from outer space....I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face...umm..yeah..that's enough...

Di-freaking-claimer: I do not own Degrassi, or the song Carry You Around, which is by the amazing Ani Difranco. Coo? Coo.

Enjoy!

Weeks had passed since that first happy coupling in Mark's classroom. They had fallen into a comfortable routine, Mark would go to Ashley's house on Monday's and Thursday's, after Ashley's parents went to work, and after she had sent Toby to JT's. Sometimes he would cook for her, and sometimes she would surprise him with his favorite; Greek food. After initially wrinkling her nose as the suggestion of Gyros, Ashley had given up and now found herself craving one whenever she wanted to be with him.

One Monday night, after everyone was gone, and he was busy cooking her Vodka Al Penne, the phone rang.

"Hello?"

_How pleased _

_Can one sun setting make you?_

"Ashley?" The voice on the other end asked. It was a male, around her age, someone who she knew..or thought she did.

_If you humble your self _

_To it?_

"Craig?" She asked incredulously.

"Yeah, it's me," He admitted, sounding somewhat sheepish.

Ashley paused, waiting impatiently for him to say why the fuck he was calling her after the horrible break up.

"Well..I...I think I made a mistake":

_How grateful_

_Can you really say _

_That you are_

"Really?" She said skeptically, watching Mark out of the corner of her eye.

"Yeah, and well.. Me and Manny are over.." Craig started, but then stopped. There was a moment of uncomfortable silence.

_Just to be here _

_And live_

_Through it?_

"I'm not sure what you want me to say Craig" Ashley said, going for haughty, but it ended up as more of a plea. She winced, hating the way she sounded when she talked to him.

_And when beauty _

_Asks a question _

_How often do you reply?_

Mark slid up behind her and kissed her neck as Craig went on and on about the reasons that he slept with Manny and how she was just a piece of ass, while Ashley was the real thing. Ash closed her eyes and tried to concentrate on Mark kissing her neck. But somehow the only thing she could hear was Craig's voice, the voice of a guy she had thought she loved.

_How often do you wonder _

_About life_

_on the other side?_

"..And I really think you were the one Ashley" He finished, sounding pathetic and weak.

Ashley kept her eyes squeezed shut, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill over.

"Craig, I'm not here to be picked up and dropped whenever it's convenient for you."

"It's not like that Ash, I swear!"

"Oh really? Then how would it be? I'd have to step aside when ever a hot girl walks by? I'd have to leave if there was a hottie in the room, so you would be free to hit on her, while you're girlfriend waits outside the door!?" Ashley had never felt so pissed off in her entire life. Mark, sensing that this was not a time to be kissing, stood back and simply wrapped his arms around her waist, comforting her.

_On the other side of _

_Anger_

_On the other side of _

_Rage_

_On the other side of _

_Ok_

_At all _

_And anyway_

"Is that how it would be Craig?" She finished, her eyes practically spurting flames.

"No I-" He began, but Ash cut him off.

"You know something Craig? I'm sick of your excuses. Go feed them some poor pathetic girl who will actually believe them."

_Now imagine what loneliness_

_Will drive someone to do_

_Now multiply that times me _

_And multiply that times you_

"Ash..I.." He began lamely.

"And another thing. I want my fucking guitar back" With that, she slammed the phone down, and spun into Mark's arms.

"Shhh..it's ok..oh sweetie, I'm so sorry for you. Shh..I've got you now"

They stood like that for a long time, Ashley letting nerves being soothed by him. Finally she realized what she really needed.

"Hey Mark?" she mumbled into his chest

"Mmhmm?" He murmured in response.

"I'm kinda hungry... is dinner ready yet?"

He pulled away and laughed. "Yes princess, your dinner is almost done. Give me ten minutes, k?"

Ashley nodded. "Ok. I'm going to go outside for a few. I just need to chill." She gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

_Now imagine what it would take_

_To make this all _

_Happen again_

_Just when you think your gonna cry_

_Multiply that times 10_

Ashley slipped on a corduroy jacket and headed outside. She sat down underneath a tree in her side yard. Feeling around in her pockets, she located half a pack of cigarettes and her blue Bic lighter. Smoking was something she took up just a few weeks ago, and knew she had to quit, but it fit her jaded woman image so perfectly. Inhaling deeply, she felt a calm slide over her, and her nerves were quieted.

_You_

_Are distracting me _

_From all other actives _

Ashley breathed out, watching deep gray smoke slid into the cool night air, just thinking. It was so hard to talk to Craig now, with them being basically estranged. She knew it was over between them, but sometimes she wanted it to be how it was, comfortable and relaxed. There was something about this relationship with Mark that she loved as well. When she was with him she felt comfortable, but there was an edge to it that she had lacked with Craig. She guessed it had something to do with that fact that it was illegal, but surprisingly she didn't feel threatened by the 6 year age difference

_I know the effect of your presence_

_Will dominate memories of_

_This restaurant_

_This table_

_This day_

_This_ _town_

Ashley realized, as she took her last drag, that her and Craig really did have something special. And hard as she may try to erase it, it was there. It was something that was etched into her memory. And good or bad, memories didn't fade. Craig was something she would have to live with as being part of her past.

**But can I do that? Can I live with the fact that we're over? That nothing can happen between us again?**

She heard Mark calling for her, and carefully stubbed out her cigarette on the tree, and threw it into the bushes. She ran over to him, kissing him on the lips right there, in full view of everyone. Giggling, they ran inside and slammed the door.

"Hey." Mark said softly. "Since when do you smoke?"

Ashley realized that there was a lot about each other that they didn't know. She smiled and grabbed his hand, leading him to the food that he had set out.

"I'll tell you over dinner."

She knew then, that everything would take care of itself. She had Mark now, and he could help her through it. Even though, something inside her would always miss Craig, she figured only time would tell.

_Cuz I carry you _

_Baby_

_I carry you_

_Around_

_Cuz I carry you _

_Baby_

_I carry you around._

WOW. That was a fun chapter to write. I'm not sure why, but it was. I highly suggest that all of you listen to that song, because it's amazing. GO NOW! Hey, while your at it, why don't you review???


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